What are Some Funny Accounting Jokes?

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Accounting is not a funny business, and if there’s any doubt, just start smiling and cracking jokes at poor Mister Gibbons who’s barely making ends meet, and is counting on you to make sure his funds are all accounted for and he’s not going to be hounded by the IRS.

That said, accountants do have a sense of humor about themselves, if not their truly serious profession, because it is the sort of dry and stuffy work routine that can drive a person crazy after a few weeks with no vacation. In order to pass the time, some accountants enjoy telling jokes or sharing email laughs, or generally riffing on their notorious profession. Here are some of our favorites accounting jokes, and we can enjoy a hearty laugh now that April 15 is out of the way.

1.The Accountant’s Wife

An accountant’s wife has insomnia. She turns to her husband and asks, “Darling, could you tell me about your day?”

Wait it gets better

Later that night, the accountant can’t sleep. He wakes his wife and complains. She asks, “Have you tried counting sheep?” He replies, “I did. But then I made a mistake and spent four hours trying to find it.”

2.Three Types

Did you know there are three types of accountants? Those who can count and those who can’t. And uh…uh…what was the third one?

3.The Accountant and the Parrot

One day an account decided to buy a parrot. He sees three parrots in the pet store and they all look alike. The pet store cashier told him the one on the left cost $500. When asked why the high price, the cashier told him the parrot can do complex audits. The middle parrot cost even more; $1,000. The reason being, it could do everything the first parrot could in addition to preparing financial reports. The third parrot cost $4,000. The accountant asked what does it do. The cashier said, “Well…actually, I’ve never seen him do anything. But the other parrots tell me he’s the senior partner.”

4.Death and Taxes

A woman gets bad news from her doctor. “I’m sorry but you only have seven months to live.” The hysterical woman asks what is she to do, how is she going to cope. The doctor, with only a slightly better sense of humor than an accountant dryly retorts, “I advise you to marry a CPA.” She asks, “Why? Could that make me live longer?” He replies, “No, but it will seem a lot longer.”

5.And finally a funny quote from Einstein

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax.” Wait that’s not so funny. Maybe accountants don’t have the worst sense of humor after all.